Irrational Blame
by blackbeltkunoichi
Summary: A scene idea of mine, based on the events of the episodes Flesh and Blood and Flesh and Blood Part II. How does Captain Janeway deal with the blame she places on herself? Can anyone snap her out of it? no ships


This follows the episodes Flesh and Blood and Flesh and Blood Part II.

This 'ficlet' of sorts addresses the things I was thinking about as the final scene in Part II was taking place. I was thinking about how stupid it was for Captain Janeway to pin the blame on herself for things she couldn't control at all.

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Chakotay watched as Captain Janeway stepped off the turbolift, stormed straight through the Bridge, and proceeded to walk forcefully into her ready room. Oh, that couldn't be good. After the run-ins with both the Hirogen and the renegade holograms, including the Doctor, it was likely that those events were what was on her mind. Chakotay looked over at the Vulcan standing at Tactical.

"You have the Bridge, Tuvok," the Native American stated as he stood, heading for the Captain's ready room. He approached the door and hit the signal. No response. He tried again. The Captain didn't answer, making it obvious she was in no mood to talk. Chakotay, however, thought differently.

"Computer, unlock this door, authorization-" Chakotay stopped speaking abruptly when the door opened before his eyes. The Captain looked as angry as an Hirogen denied its prey.

"Come in, Commander," she invited, a dangerous edge to her voice. Blast. Not good at all. The First Officer cleared his throat roughly and proceeded to enter the room.

"Judging by the way you nearly busted the door down, you have something to say," said the Captain, stating the obvious. Chakotay began to have doubts about being able to talk to the Captain in this condition. He played it cool for now.

"How did your talk with the Doctor go?" he inquired. Kathryn heaved a short, impatient sigh. Apparently, this was what was bugging her so much.

"It's my fault. I gave the Hirogens the holodeck technology in the first place. I was the one who allowed the Doctor to expand his programming. Everything is my fault," she finished, gesturing half-heartedly at a couch. Chakotay politely denied the invitation to sit.

"Captain, I really hate to be blunt, but none of this is your fault," the Native American pointed out to her.

"Save it, Commander. I'll be blunt with you, too. I gave those hunters the technology; I gave our only hologram the ability to do as he pleases and I blew it on both counts," she forced out at him.

"Captain, listen to yourself. You're not even making sense! You _gave_ the Hirogens the holodeck technology, true enough, but _they_ were the ones who decided what to do with it, not you. You never programmed those holograms. _They _decided how to use our gift to them, not you. You are not to blame for either the holograms' or the Hirogen's actions," Chakotay explained rather loudly. The Captain opened her mouth to protest but Chakotay plowed on. "And another thing. The Doctor. You _are not_ responsible for what he does. He is free to change his ideals, just as we humans are. You blame yourself for things that you have no control over whatsoever. Yes, you gave him the freedom to expand his programming, but it was _he _who decided what to do with that freedom, not you, Captain. It is highly irrational of you to blame yourself for things that aren't your fault in any way," the Commander finished, steeling himself for a silver-tongued retort from his Captain.

Janeway blinked, looked down, then looked back up, an angry glint in her eye. She wasn't angry at the Hirogen, the runaway holograms, or the Doctor, but she was extraordinarily angry with herself. And Chakotay was the one that was going to take a verbal beating, simply because he had intruded on his moody Captain's thoughts.

"You're right, Chakotay," she said simply. Chakotay could barely contain the surprise that flitted over his face. There was no hint of sarcasm in her voice whatsoever. She was being truthful with him.

"Chakotay, you are right. I spoke to the Doctor insisting it was indeed my fault. I must not have made a lot of sense to him, because I really wasn't making sense to myself. He offered me his mobile emitter for my own personal confiscation, and his holodeck time. He even offered to be erased and reset back to how he was when he was first activated. I refused his offer to take responsibility for his own actions, telling him that it was my fault he had acted in the way he did. Some Starfleet Captain I am," she finished, but her last sentence didn't have a gleeful chuckle to it.

Chakotay gave a short shake of his head. "Captain. It is very Starfleet of you to take responsibility for the actions of your crew, but there is a definitive line between _your_ fault and _their_ fault," he said.

The Captain smiled, her mood lifting a bit. "But what would the Maquis say?" she questioned.

"We'd say, 'Oh well, let's get on with things.' But this isn't exactly the Maquis, now, is it?" he questioned her with a smirk.

Kathryn smiled as well. "I like the Maquis' logic. It could contest with Tuvok's." Gesturing, she mimicked Chakotay.

"Let's get on with things, shall we?" she said, heading for the door.

"Aye, Captain," said Chakotay, grinning. Kathryn was definitely a piece of work.


End file.
